do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don’t have to be there
Strangers have the best candy.
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Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer’s parents? Do they know she’s riding a damn crocodile into a volcano?
I’ll take the seat next to the guy who swallowed the wifi.
Hey Law & Order, please stop throwing around the word semen all willy-nilly, I’m trying to watch this with my mom
My high school girlfriend got “uses her kids as her facebook profile picture” fat.
A pet hedgehog. Because you don’t have enough pricks in your life.
Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.
What idiot called it a cow video instead of a bovine?
Wedding planning is organized crime.
I’m sorry baby, but me & you are not going to work out.
We are going to watch tv.