@noog

The year is 2020. Hip hop has fully merged with dubstep, creating the genre of music known as Dubhop. All hope for mankind is lost

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@1Happytwit

My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.

@Carbosly

If my husband doesn’t like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else.

@_wangwe

This guy thinks he can take my girlfriend home with him just because he bought her a few drinks and he’s married to her. Men.

@slimmy_shady

“I love Justin Bieber” well I love McDonalds but you dont see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget, do you?

@Robski_Boy

I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them.

@9GAG

Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with “Ah, I guess you had to be there.”

@XplodingUnicorn

Ladies, men will never get what you mean by “I’m fine” unless there’s a crack of lightening and scary music. Even that might be too subtle.

@dumbbeezie

Pete Davidson always knows what’s different about you when you ask

@tommy_charm

The only thing keeping most of you from having a great dating life is…

Your spouse 🤷