My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
The year is 2020. Hip hop has fully merged with dubstep, creating the genre of music known as Dubhop. All hope for mankind is lost
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If my husband doesn’t like my cooking, he can buy his meth somewhere else.
This guy thinks he can take my girlfriend home with him just because he bought her a few drinks and he’s married to her. Men.
“I love Justin Bieber” well I love McDonalds but you dont see me making an account pretending to be a chicken nugget, do you?
I speak 3 languages. Unfortunately no one else in the world speaks 2 of them.
Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with “Ah, I guess you had to be there.”
Ladies, men will never get what you mean by “I’m fine” unless there’s a crack of lightening and scary music. Even that might be too subtle.
Pete Davidson always knows what’s different about you when you ask
“Boo!” — cow with a cold
The only thing keeping most of you from having a great dating life is…
Your spouse 🤷