We get it, Japan.
All of your cats can skateboard.

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They say treat others how you would like to be treated.

Now I have to go out on a date with a guy and treat him like a princess.


Been coming here every day for six years and I’m starting to lose hope.


*Japanese Zen garden tour*
Guide: It’s important to be quiet & not disturb the-
*Me from back eating huge bag of chips*: DUDE WE CANT HEAR U


WIFE: Where the hell are u?
ME: Well u know that jewellers where u saw that ring u wanted?
M: I’m in a bar not far from there


This bicyclist in front of me sure dresses like he could be pedaling faster.


You people that are getting laid regularly either need to keep that stuff to yourselves or be more descriptive.


One thing I’ve learned about getting older is that not everything is as how it appears.

Or I need new glasses. Again.


I’m never quite sure when to lean in for a kiss after a job interview.


Being an adult is like watching a foreign movie with no subtitles in a crowded theater, everyone else knows what’s going on and you just nod