@bikermarc636
@meganamram God making man in his image was the original selfie
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@meganamram 
@QwertyJones3 Hangin with my peeps at the club. Biting their heads off, one by one. Enjoying their marshmallow deliciousness.
@samalmightysam While you’re thinking what to wear, I’m thinking how to take it off.
@ardentsiren I can fix him.
@jeffreyr77 Doritos – my own personal love triangles.
@chairmanMAO_92 This hot girl asked me to recommend some music so i said Pink Floyd, she said “I didn’t know Pink used her last name as well” Now she’s dead
@GrowlyGrego Is there a Twitter acronym for “Ur screenshot tweet is really funny, but my anxiety about ur phone battery % prevents me from enjoying it”?
@desiboho Whaaa? You taste brides? RT MatrooKiBijlee: Bridal tasting was a success! The only thing I regret is not taking pictures. But still….”
@Humor_Fetish There’s a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
@THEDUTHCHESS Yesterday 9 asked what’s the meaning of life and 6 punched him, but that was yesterday when I was on acid. Numbers don’t usually talk to me.