@tritium_h3
@Scarfolk Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
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@Scarfolk 
@JasonLastname If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you’ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
@dave_cactus *sees a truck*
Nice.*sees a trucker*
Oh, impressive.*sees a truckest*
Ah yes. This is what I came for.
@TheBoydP Mammals for $500 Alex
“Slow moving mammals that spend most of their time sleeping & eating”
What are sloths?
“Wrong, What are coworkers”
@dadmann_walking me, making small talk: so. i see you also have a face.
@jtharuler birth certificates really the most pointless thing, why i gotta prove to you i was born bro i’m right here
@Book_Krazy CW: I think you’re two-faced
Me: Why don’t you say that to my face
CW: I just did!
Me: No. My other face.
@baseballchickie First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you’re Italian.
(I can say this cause I’m Italian.)
@david8hughes He died in the bath trying to make a YouTube video entitled ‘Aqua-Toast’.
@OBiiieeee Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass.