Went to a bar. Ordered a drink. Waiter served it without ice. So I called him again & asked for it.
I kept sipping my drink while waiting for ice. By the time the waiter came with ice, I had finished my drink.
Moral of the story:
Just ice delayed is just ice denied.
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Me: They kicked me out of Fight Club
Therapist: You want to talk about it?
Me: That’s right
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21 savage emerging from his pokeball: twenty one
And in today’s episode of “Why is your toddler crying?”:
It’s “the balloon exploded without asking for permission”
Predict the weather? How about you predict the lottery numbers, you chubby little rodent
My kids are out of town so I’m going to get wild and drink my coffee while it’s still hot.
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Wife: It says Happy 3rd Birthday Josh
Me: oh shit he’s gonna be 4 isn’t he
Wife: His name is Jake
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Ladies, if you agree, DM me your number so we can talk about it…
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2. Wider, that’s it.
3. Stick out your tongue
4. Then walk towards her and pray she doesn’t run away.
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I think it would take far less if you tried to do that amount in one sitting.
who’s ready for the long weeknd?