Let’s put the delete button next to the most important, most used button on this app, lol
~App developers probably
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Player 2: *buzz* Don’t touch the sides!
Surgeon: What are you two doing in here?!
Him: Why are you going in circles???
Me: I’m buffering!!!
Johnny Depp’s wife of just over a year Filed for Divorce today…
With NO prenup…She is gonna get soooooo many bracelets.
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Tim Cook announces iPhone charger cord to be long enough to reach a socket, Apple stock price quadruples.
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Me: I’m a man. I’m afraid of commitment.
Judge: hahaha!
Me: hahaha!
Judge: Life.
I have tendinitis so bad the doctor told me it was twentydinitis.
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ME: I have grapes and patience.
People call me a “Trekkie” but I’m not, I’ve only seen Star Wars a couple of times
Yes
10yo: When in doubt, albatrout.
Me: What the hell is albatrout? That’s not real.
10yo: Now you’re in doubt!
Me: But…
10yo: ALBATROUT
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You up?
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genie: [exhaling cigarette] yeah I don’t give a shit
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Dog: what does that mean?
God: it means you’re a good boy.
Dog: what did you say?
God: it means you’re a good boy.
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God: you have perfect hearing.
Dog:
God:
Dog:
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Dog: [tail wag] : )