A Video no one needed, but since I miss saying these things, here is what Product Managers actually do.
Ask & say a bunch of random things to sound smart.Hope I get hired for my honesty at least if not for my skills đ
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never saying âi love youâ first ever again
Improve a famous quote by adding or replacing a word with tacos.
Only a life lived for tacos is a life worthwhile. â Albert Einstein
For Tolkien writing was Hobbit forming.
If happiness is a moving target and I’ve been chasing it all my life, why am I fat?
As moms, we make decisions to keep our kids healthy. Like drinking this entire bottle of wine so that my teenager can live another day.
Me: So it’s kittens… driving sports cars!!
Studio Head: I need security up here NOW.
Me: PLEASE DON’T REJECT “THE FAST AND THE FURRIEST”
[Donald Duck opens gift]
Daisy: It’s pants. Try them on!
Donald: [stands] STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME WOMAN
ah yes the two sexualities, queer and italian
And by noon on the 7th day, God said these kids need some iPads.
My favourite bit of every James Bond film is the bit immediately after the titles when Bond goes to the office and gets told off by his boss. That bit, I can really relate to.
Cop *knocking on door* open up it’s the police!
Me: it’s ok, I haven’t done any crimes
Cop: The fashion police
Me *kicking my crocs off* shit
Female fishermen should be called Broadcasters.
Hey, Sean Bean, it’s either Shaun Baun or Seen Been. You can’t have it both ways.
kayleigh i promise i won’t make fun of your name again pleighse give me another chance
I’d probably hike more if there was a lemonade stand every mile or two that served burgers.
it’s cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like “just as i suspected guys. it’s shit.”
Bruce Wayne could prevent so much more crime if he just used his vast fortune to buy up all the Gotham tri-state area abandoned chemical plants and dilapidated amusement parks.
Fairies dart around the room to collect eraser shavings of mistakes youâve made from the day. âI canât carry anymoreâ, complains one. âHow can this all be from ONE person?!â cries another, sweating profusely.
My son just asked me why anyone would want a “house phone” because they don’t even have any games on them. And then I died of old age
Congratulations, Mrs. Smith. You have a healthy baby clown. Oh look, twins! Triplets! Somebody get a camera. Four, five, six…
I’ve never met a day I couldn’t ruin.
I donât think Major Tom was much of an astronaut – Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. Thatâs pretty basic stuff.
I bought a CD today.
Now I’m waiting for my carriage to take me home, because I have laundry to do at the river and butter to churn.
[mini golfing]
CADDIE: for the 12th hole in a row, ur putter sir
ME: thank u
DATE: why did u bring a caddie
Update: Gingerbread men are actually incredibly slow and delicious
Hold me like a guy holds a fish in his tinder pics, baby
I serve garlic bread at every meal, but these blood-sucking vampires still havenât moved out.
My first words were, âspank me daddyâ because my parents accidentally set up the baby monitors backwards.
I thought my Monday couldn’t get any worse but then Linda from HR said I can’t *make* people in the office call me Stingray.
Who ya gonna believe babe… me or some random police report.
Annnnd thatâs how the fight started.