i just overheard this conversation from my family and i honestly give up jesus christ
sister: the bus driver earlier had sunglasses on + it’s been raining all day
dad:
sister: i wonder why. maybe he was blind?
dad: oh yeah, maybe
[they watch tv in silence]
me: ?????
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me: are you kidding me right now
my date: (the kool aid man) it’s fine we’ll just go somewhere else
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D: I mea-
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*me taking a selfie & spinning in chair
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Me: No. I grew it out so you’d stop complaining about the stubble.
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Tell my story.
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me: oh wow ok
teacher: it’s worrying
me: very *rubbing chin* he should’ve sold them all by now
Choose your own adventure:
S O F A T H E R E Y E S P O P
Dad sees a soda?
Moving a couch for dad?
Obese girl with a vision problem?
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Getting married? Merry Christmas!
Birthday? Merry Christmas!
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