Scooby Doo was awesome because he would just shout his own name when things got exciting.
You Might Also Like
The game has officially changed 😎
Bikini season is just around the corner, unfortunately so is Dairy Queen. 🙄
Always end a conversation with “gotta run” so people think you’re into fitness
BOSS: that wraps up our meeting. does anyone have anything to add?
COWORKER WHO HAS NOTHING TO ADD: i have something to add
When the doctor asks you ‘How are you feeling today?’ sexy is not an appropriate answer apparently.
Nothing freaks me out like that girl w/the purple bra yelling “Hey those are MY panties!” Finders keepers lady.
Adhd brain is amusing.
I know I need to make a list, but I fight making a list, and then I go to the store and completely neglect everything I need and come home with a donkey.
I knew a guy who came so fast it traveled through time, like he’d squeeze one boob and the jizz splattered my mom in 1955
Me [doing a lovely soft shoe routine and nailing it]
Brother: Are you serious? This is my sentencing hearing
Judge [teary]: Just wonderful
Email from my mom: What’s my email address?
My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.
Interviewer: “What did you like best about your last job?”
Me: “Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake.”
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB. That was a trip down memory lane.
me: having a blended family is challenging
person: you and your wife have kids from different marriages?
me: no, we have Android and iPhones in our family group chat
Helping ya friend pick a picture to post 🤝 commenting like it’s ya first time ever seeing the picture
Day 2 of home schooling:
One is taking a maths test in bed, two is taking his psychology lesson in the toilet and I can’t find the third.
They really need to stop naming hospitals after dead people.
Give us some hope.
The quarantine has changed me. I am now a make the bed every day with all 15 pillows kind of person because I have the time and some sort of primal instinct to cozy my nest and I’m thinking maybe my ancestors were actually velociraptors because, also, I bite now.
A lot of folks out there missing the point…
To the lady who flipped me off when I honked at you, your phone probably isn’t on top of your car anymore!
19 is making brownies.
Puts brownies in the oven and goes up to his bedroom.Now I have to set the house on fire to teach him a lesson.
teaching my 1yo daughter to shout
“Mike Wazowski!” every time someone opens a closet door
Stephen King ruined corn children for me
Delivery!
Mail!
Dog!
Bunny!
A leaf fell!
Wind!
Nothing!
Nothing again!-My dog’s daily announcements
Satan: *to a huge audience* Welcome to the end of days
One guy who hates calendars: Finally
Every time I see a dude in a trench coat i assume he’s going to flash me. When it doesn’t happen, I assume he’s just a spy
The Wizard of Oz: A teenage runaway gets caught in a storm, commits manslaughter, & crosses state lines to see a man more than 3x her age.
I fed the neighborhood cat cheaper cat treats and now she’s meowing Sarah McLachlan songs in my back yard.
I believe you cannot save people, you can only just love them. Which is probably why my job as a lifeguard didn’t last long.