@bingowings14

Alexa, find me a cat who’s hell bent on world domination just as soon as the weather picks up a bit.

You Might Also Like

@BegoniaLuv

Heading to Lowe’s to pretend like I know wtf I’m doing.

@slimmy_shady

Caught my son running a Google search for “adult entertainment”. I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family.

@sheluvhec

i hate it when im tryna spell a word and autocorrect can’t either

@adamgreattweet

ghost of christmas past but it’s just the clothes that used to fit before the pandemic

@torrami

Doughnut boxes advertise “ZERO TRANS FAT” as if anyone buying a box of doughnuts cares about the nutritional content.

@Thuggedraccoon

Boss: Any takeaways from the client meeting?

Me: I got his stapler and two rolls of toilet paper

@blob_of_light

Penelope wasn’t really GREAT at hide and seek, but we always appreciated her efforts

@EliTerry

I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named FIREWORKS AND VACUUMS so my dog won’t find them.