@marsboyroy

Downhill is probably the only way I can honestly say I’ve rolled.

You Might Also Like

@MelvinofYork

As a husband and father, it troubles me that prisoners are still being given time in solitary confinement when I would gladly pay for some.

@TheTweetOfGod

The problem of guns in schools would be eliminated if society finally had the courage to outlaw schools.

@iSpeakComedy

My mother was so overprotective we were only allowed to play rock, paper.

@illTortuga

Listen son, you know how you find an awesome song & you listen to it over and over again until you hate it? Well, I’m leaving your mother.

@AClkwrkStarfish

The boy is putting whipped cream on the cat. I think he may have overheard a conversation he didn’t understand quite so well.

@sonictyrant

Waiter: would you like a little quiche before your main sir?

Me: ok, but no tongue

@OblivionDream

The deadliest weapon is the mind. Unless you got a sword or something. Or a gun. If you have a gun, that’s definitely the best choice.

@DannyZuker

“No woman, no cry.” – Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend.