just responded to every text i haven’t replied to in weeks by sharing my wordle which i got in 2 guesses
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Age 15: kids are stupid
Age 25: kids are stupid
Age 35: I love my kids but kids are stupid
“Tell me about yourself”
Well, I’m a Canadian-
“Oh yeah? Tell me a joke funnyman”
when I’m sound asleep Sunday morning and someone rings the doorbell
Next time you’re in a public bathroom and someone knocks, assert dominance by saying come in
Him: I know your secret
Me:*nervously sweating, remembering my Netflix history* Yeah?
H: You killed someone
M: *relieved* Oh, haha. Yep
*pretends to get an urgent text so I can turn around after I notice I’m walking in the wrong direction*
“And thou shalt know those whom God has chosen for eternal salvation in the following manner: they shall retweet this.” Revelation 4:12.
HER: I love classic rock
ME: [trying to impress] I’ve been to the Grand Canyon
dog: i want to go to up to the stars with you
astronaut: space is a vacuum
dog: i’ll see you when you get back
*throws $100 bill into a wishing well* I wish I was good with money