This is a little ditty I’ve been working on called “Stop putting nuts in the god damn brownies”
Hope you like it.
Laughter is the best medicine……..unless you have Morphine. Then Morphine is the best medicine.
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I like it thick and deep
WANTED: OOMPA LOOMPAS
– Machine Maintenance
– Chocolate Production
– Quality Control
– Singing when kids die
I love the new #ObiWanKenobi poster but I also realized it totally works as a Tums ad.
Why did the thumbs-up become the universal symbol for approval? “hey let me show u my weirdest finger because i’m down with what ur saying”
Why do they call it alcoholics anonymous if you introduce yourself?
“Let me make this very clear…”
– Me before a 38 mins convoluted rant
Wine improves with age, I improve with wine.
I used to mix metaphors but that ship has flown.
Names that sound like Tarzan describing people: