Had great idea for site for recent law grads called BarelyLegal .com. Turns out name was already taken. And their idea was much better.
Next episode of Why are Customers So Annoying
Dear Impatient Customer,
If you call someone and get their voicemail, calling me to transfer you will not make them answer when I’m transferring you to the same number you just called 5 seconds ago.
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I like my pizza like i like my square root of 64.
On Average, ovulating women prefer rugged & masculine men.
Menstruating women prefer men duct-taped and on fire.
50% of mariachi bands end in divorciachi.
*aircrafts dropping from the sky
Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?
How I flirt with girls:
1. Walk past them 15 times
2. Go home
High school prepares you for real life! For example, show choir taught me how to put on eyeliner and lip liner in a car on the freeway
Dog Morpheus: Ok, Dog Neo. You take the grey pill, you wake up in your kennel. But if you take the GREY pill – I will show you the Matrix.
I skipped leg day at the gym, but don’t worry I balanced it out by skipping arm day, chest day, ab day, and back day so I’m good to go.