People don’t frolic enough anymore.
FROLIC YOU PIECES OF SHIT
You Might Also Like
When you offer me cookies, act surprised when I take one. Declare loudly you’ve never seen me eat dessert before.
Things I learned today:
1) Gel is not short for jelly
2) KY isn’t an acronym for “Krazy Yummy”
3) I’m not allowed to make my own lunch
“WHAT?! YOU NEVER TOLD ME!”
– My 7yo, hearing he has a middle name for the millionth time.
[gym]
Excuse me, can I borrow your towel? This cinnamon roll is really sticky.
She hasn’t tweeted in a while, so I guess I can stop sucking in my stomach.
If there really was a Purge, and all crime was legal for one night, I’d probably do something super crazy, like loiter.
[driving test]
INSTRUCTOR: first name?
ME: Mike
I: last?
M: Arbrokedown
I: Mike Arbrokedown?
M: no problem let’s use mine
I: *crumples test*
You think you’ve got problems? This is what I’m having for dinner
Cop: Can you describe the man who hit you with a baseball bat?
Me: So you want me a paint a “pitcher” lol
Cop: ok at least we know why he did it