@fookit_ahl I get Bi with a little help from my friends.
@TheSeanBrewster Sometimes I’ll take such a good picture of someone I’m like “this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral.”
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@fookit_ahl 
@elle91 Me: Ok I’m just gonna lay down for like 15 minutes.
[11 Days later]
Oh no
@envydatropic Always end a conversation with “gotta run” so people think you’re into fitness
@PrincesaBallena Please can I keep him – he followed me home!
@CrockettForReal My mom didn’t care what my teachers names were, anytime she had to write a letter to the school it always started out the same. “To whom it may concern”
@lovemydogduck I wonder how many calories you burn locking yourself out and having to climb in through a second story window.??
@TheRolo Friends: Let’s roll a fatty
Me: I have a name guys and pls don’t
@gvicks Why let people drive you crazy when you know it’s in walking distance?
@DnDSesame So…for no good reason a photoshop of a Bison and Sweetums, and probably something that will never be done again.
@fro_vo [Date]
Me: how about a drink? get whatever floats your boat
Her: thanks! i’ll have a mai tai
Me: *glaring* you float a boat with water karen