Sorry the drone I got for Christmas crashed into your bedroom window.

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[eating dinner]
me [wearing 8 Burger King crowns] If they didn’t want you to take more than one there’d be a sign


Blackberry users thought of making a joke abt the Apple-Samsung battle, but before they cud tweet thr phone hanged n battery drained out


I walk into the office for my new job and this is the first thing I see


My 5yr old eats chicken wings with the precision of a hitman cleaning his rifle.


If your wife walks in and turns the light on while you’re staring at the ceiling, make sure you yell “My eyes!” BEFORE she starts changing


The NFL has hired their first female referee.

She will throw flags for penalties the teams
committed 5 years ago.


*Belle falls in love with Beast*

Everyone: STOCKHOLM SYNDROME!! Called it!

*Belle speaks to furniture*

Everyone: this is fine