Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet
“YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?” – guy that just got a new kite for his birthday
You Might Also Like
My auto reply to texts:
I would love to, but I have to [verb] a [noun] .
The internet is amazing, especially for when you really want to fight with strangers about politics or snack choices.
me: babe get your finger measured
her: [hopeful] is it for what i think it is?
me: [ordering custom puppets] you’ll see
Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy
Judge: what’s upsexy?
[lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
Hold on, you guys. Turns out the person with bad opinions is extremely attractive. I’m on their side now.
You know who doesn’t sleep like a baby? Babies.
Me, excited: Are we gonna go in the Mosh Pet!
-You mean the mosh PIT, right?
Me, sad: *Furtively puts my dog grooming kit away*
Religion has been soaked in blood like the Parle-G biscuit that breaks off and settles at the bottom of your cup.
My attempt to impress her with the tale of how I’d managed to fend off a hangry bear on a camping trip was ruined when AC decided I’d fired a warning ‘shit’, instead.
Now she thinks I’m both a coward and not to be trusted on her furniture.