❎ Client not paid?
✅ Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until their site completely fades away
You Might Also Like
forget tagging friends, i want to be able to tag my enemies
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells CRAP really loud then people scurry like mad
Employee: “Wow, you look tired.”
Me: *fires him for harassment*
I have a huge advantage in Wordle because I have had the alphabet memorized for over 10 years.
Breaking news: There’s been an alarming rise of close call heart attacks. The first symptom is, “you almost gave me a heart attack!”
I don’t understand wishing dead celebrities happy birthday. Shoutout to Mary Queen of Scots, who would be 577 today.
Disgusting if literal: Liverpool
A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line
I use my rear windshield wiper mainly to show off that I have a car with a rear windshield wiper.
The same people who tell you to follow your dreams are the ones who are all ‘surprised’ when you show up to do a presentation buck naked. Do not trust these people. Stay woke and follow zero dreams.
*inventing the mirror*
“People don’t have enough to worry about.”
Has anyone ever had a polite awakening?
*my wife opens my sock drawer & sees that it’s filled with bite sized candy bars. she looks over at me*
did you go trick or treating again last night?
Waiter: Do you guys need any sauce?
Her: Yes, please. Bbq.
Me: I’ll take apple.
Couch Potato: Do you think I’m fat?
Sweet Potato: I think you’re beautiful.
Baked Potato: Why do we have eyes that can’t see?
Me: has anyone ever told you how much we appreciate you around here
Coworker: (blushing) um, no
Me: did you ever wonder why that is
A taco bell would actually crack almost immediately so that’s a stupid name
If you come to my house and see a coffee cup upside down on the floor, just be my hero and put the spider outside please.
Limp Bizkit: keep rollin rollin rollin rollin
Humpty Dumpty: [falling off wall] I feel so attacked
Just thinking about how hard lockdown was for people with secret families
St. Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday that’s named after a massacre.
I have 1 calorie left for the day on MyFitnessPal app. I think I’ll eat this fruit fly that’s been annoying me.
Eating pancakes and bacon when I forget to put my teeth in is just not the same.
BREAKING: Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured.
My doctor told me to avoid unnecessary stress, so I stopped going to doctors.
In 1999 this man was asked to reenact his recent lottery win for TV and ended up winning again on camera
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, I’M CHILL AF
Person: Do you have a license for that thing?
Me [from my wheelchair]: No, that got revoked after I killed my third pedestrian.
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in her purse.
I used to make picture meals for my daughter until she got bored and asked me to stop.