*waking up hogtied in the trunk of a car*
………
*goes back to sleep*
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Her : Hmmm …first , Show me your
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Marriage is for people who want their break ups to involve paperwork.
Me: actually, EVERY date will never happen again
Her: *getting up* okay but this is REALLY never happening again
There are two wolves inside you, I don’t remember what you’re supposed to do with them but I DO remember they WILL NOT do that thing with peanut butter that dogs will.
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Emma Stone is my girlfriend. Nobody tell her, though. I want it to be a surprise.
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agent: sorry about that
me: but shouldn’t it come through to you when you get a transfer
agent: ideally, yes
me:
agent: may i please have your account number
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1.
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3.
4.
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