The biggest issue with mass immigration is all those people are going to make Europe too heavy and it will sink into the ocean, and the see-saw effect will raise the far east into the stratosphere and launch Chinese people into space.
Why is no one talking about this?
You Might Also Like
PSA: 60% of deaths happen in hospitals which is why I don’t go there
Using soap as a garnish because the store was all out of cilantro.
I just wanna be alone but I have all this internet access.
An alien abduction but it’s just my kid shining a flashlight in my face in the middle of the night asking if I’m awake.
🤣🤣🤣
dentist: have you been flossing
me: have you?
dentist: [to assistant] can he do that
hey pregnant lady slowly crossing the street on a green light it’s a baby not a forcefield
In the ranking of country’s that drinks the most America is only #4. We need to fix this. Someone fix me a drink and help get us to #1.
*Ordering Chinese Food
Vanilla Ice: I’ll have egg rolls and chicken fried rice rice baby
Me: Put on your seatbelt.
13: Do I have to?
Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield
13: cool
Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!
[1987]
Me: Tell me my future.
Psychic: You’ll have a phone that costs $800.
M: So I’m rich?
P: *a laugh escapes from her nostrils* Nope.
[wife who bought regular paper towels instead of the select a size paper towels] what’s wrong? [me trying to clean a small to medium sized spill] nothing
Guys, have you ever become so fed up trying to undo a bra that you wished you hadn’t put one on in the first place?
“Erectile Dysfunction” is such a harsh term. Why not just call it “Sleepy Peepee?”
Mysteries of #Interstellar: Gotta tell you. Mars (right next door) looks waay safer than those new planets they travelled to.
*1st day in hell*
Devil: So you just sit in this room and people give you gifts
Me: Oh nice
Devil: And you have to react to each one
Me: NO
My children wanted to play airplane rides and are very upset because I told them my flight is fully booked
Celebrities are like we’re just like you then they name their kids Fruitcake and Archipelago.
I can finish The Times’ crossword in under five minutes but I struggle to eat the whole paper
my friends when i can’t do basic math
NYC’s response to historic flooding will be adding kayak lanes to all city streets.
20s: he is smart, funny, and hot, he’s my soulmate.
30s: he loves kids and dogs, he’s my soulmate.
40s: we have the same third favourite colour, he’s my soulmate.
Teacher: define “impossible”
Me: no can do
Teacher: correct. and can you explain what “skepticism” is?
Me: doubt it
Teacher: excellent! and “agnosticism”?
Me: I have no idea
Teacher: amazing
Everyone said the hamster catapult wasn’t appropriate for the science fair but no one could stop watching.
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Homosexuals please help me. I think my hamsters are gay. How do I let them know it’s okay?
My old WiFi name used to be BoratVoiceMyWifi but I’ve since matured
What idiot called it the “number of Police Officers in the Precinct” and not the “Copulation”
DATE: *looking at dessert menu* are you thinking what i’m thinking
ME: *smiling* let’s say it together
DATE: 1,2,3! ice cream
ME: why does “Open” start with a closed circle and “Closed” start with an open cirrrice cream