You should be able to twist the bottom of the pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a chapstick.
You Might Also Like
Why don’t furniture stores just tell us when they’re NOT having a huge sale?
*stares off into the distance*
Distance: I have a boyfriend
Me: Wow. She has a mesmerising walk.
Him: Hypnotist?
Me: Oh hip noticed alright.
I would never join a gang, because I am vehemently against group projects.
Mom, can I have another piece of pecan pie?
“You mean MAY, not CAN”
Ok, mom can I have another piece of pemay pie?
trust me bro, no woman has ever looked at your tinder profile and gone “i wish he was holding me like he’s holding that fish”
Once my wife asked me to tell her a story that would put her asleep, so I said “let’s talk about the history of operating systems.”
The exasperated gasp and nearly audible eye-roll told me I was on the right track! 😜
Congratulations a celebrity blocked you. You were so annoying that they noticed you through all the Twitter noise. You must be a real prize.
Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors’ house, they’re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
I’ve got a joke about Sean Connery’s brother’s attractive daughter. It’s pretty niche.
careful fellas!
when you text a girl, you also text like 7 of her other friends.
grandmas be like imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings
I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him.
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat
found out today that in my 7-unit “no pets allowed” apartment building, I am the only one without a cat. I’ve been surrounded by secret cats this whole time
My 8yo asked if she could have the last cookie. I said no because it’s mine. She asked if she could have a half. I said okay. Now… I’m pretty sure she’s failing math because all she left me was a crumb
Select the reason for canceling your order:
◽️Item(s) would not arrive on time
◽️Need to change shipping address
☑️ I was drunk
Ohhh so you don’t hate peaches. You just hate peaches that aren’t on MY plate. Got it.
– Me, to the 5 yr old
Why is it called “getting ghosted” when ghosts whole thing is sticking around too long
I’m “that burger I ate is fighting back” years old.
Seek kebab; not attention
Plumber: you have hard water.
Me: you mean like ice?
According to WebMD, I either have the Ebola virus or I just sat on my car keys :/
[from the bottom of a lake]
I have this thing where I underestimate the size of puddles.
I cannot afford to get my wife a new Lexus for Christmas so I’ll be tying a red ribbon on a pair of Sketchers and setting them in the driveway.
I hope my teeth enjoy these 3 minutes of minty freshness before their 8-hour coffee bath.
I don’t know who’s having a worse day, the bird that’s repeatedly flying into my dining room window or my dog.
Internal monologue during wedding vows: *Did she just say ‘resistance is futile’?*
I guess cinco de mustard didn’t have the same ring to it