My 4yo just came up to me and said “daddy, there are some things you don’t know” and then walked away. I don’t know if I should be offended or frightened.
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Wife: He is so literal. It drives me mad.
MC: And how do you feel, Stephen?
Me: With my hands.
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Me, half an ambien and 2 bloody marys deep: Yeah
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Me: “Yes!”
My 5yo who had to come to my appointment with me: “No you don’t.”
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me: ok so this patient is here today with a lot of crystals
med student: oooh u mean like those healing crystals
me: no the crystals are in their urine
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me: correct
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me: oh shit what did it do
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But daddy, Santa likes-
[gently puts hand on his head]
“do what I say or he’s not coming”
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1. Cut tape with machete.
2. Take shot.
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5. Watch child play with box.
My toddler was babbling a mile a minute first thing this morning and my 4yo said, ‘I’m going to need pancakes if I’m going to listen to you,’ so he’s my stress management coach now.
“I’m sorry”:
0:00🔘━━━━━━━0:06
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
volume: ▁ 5%“…but”:
0:00🔘━━━━━━━━70:28:54
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%
😂😂😂😁😁🤣🤣