Pretty sure airport food was priced by children just learning about numbers.
“Ok Brian, how much should this apple cost?” SIXTY TWO DOLLARS!
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on
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if I ever go missing, it won’t be hiking. you guys don’t even have to look there.
“You may now kiss the bride”
Wow this is the happiest day of-
*dad flies by in hot air ballon*
*throws football at my head*
Mitt accuses Obama of being detached and out of touch. Then flies to the Caymans for a quick cuddle with his money
Apparently my hub is a 92 yr old trapped in a younger body. He just referred to you guys as my Pinstagram friends.
There is no “we” in chocolate.
I’m at the age where I need at least 3 weeks advance notice before doing anything spontaneous
Arguing w him is like playing Pictionary w/ the person who draws one weird little shape and just keeps circling it over and over and over.
I remember Daddy told me fairy tales can come true so any time an old lady offers me an apple or cookie I kill her and bury her in the woods
I just did my budget for June. If I don’t buy food … I won’t need toilet paper.
I think I’m on to something here.