Laughter is not the best medicine. Please take your medicine.

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Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.


You know you’re ordering too much takeout food when the delivery guy replies ” it’s me” when you ask who’s at the door.


some dogs can find bodies that have been buried for years & mine can’t even find a cracker that hit him in the face on the way to the floor


Who decided that a clown popping suddenly out of a metal box would be a good toy for young children?


If you’re moving to a new house for a “fresh start,” congratulations your new house is haunted.


How crazy is it that we used to say “three and a half inch floppy” with a straight face


Please do not buy stainless steel or titanium rings. They seem cool until you can’t get them off.


i saw this and everything about it annoyed me so i’m posting it in hopes that it annoys you too


After Samsung phones, now Samsung washing machines are exploding. Samsung is now the third biggest nuclear power after US and Russia.


My DNA results came back and apparently I’m .0002% aardvark. Which pretty much answers all the questions I’ve ever had. About anything.