
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
My friend sent me an invitation to an “Interactive Murder Mystery Dinner” which is great because I’ve always wanted to decline one of those.
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
I was tired of losing my glasses so I put them on a chain. Now my hair’s in a tight bun, there’s a used hanky in the sleeve of my cardigan and I lick my index finger every time I turn a page.
Stranger danger is a very real thing.
They nearly always react badly to proposals.
[gazing into The mirror of Erised]
Harry Potter: *sees his dead parents that he’s never met*
Ron Weasley: *sees a Taco Bell opening in Diagon Alley*
Trail Mix should just be called “Dig around until you find the M&M’s”
I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.
its a good thing we swallow 8 spiders a year bc if it werent for those spiders, we’d be swalowing hundreds of flies and smaller insects
Sieved flour to rule them all
A pinch of salt to grind them
Cup of milk, then mix them all
add an egg to bind them-Lord of the Onion Rings
Shouting “Shotgun” will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
Why just pufferfish? Why not other pufferanimals?
Why not a pufferpuma?