the reason wordle only does one word per day is so you can spend the rest of your day talking about wordle
You Might Also Like
Oldest kid: [Sick]
Youngest kid: [Sick]
Wife and me: [Staring each other down]
Wife: [Sneezes]
Me: Hahaha there can only be one-
Wife: [Sneezes on me]
everything i’ve learned about megan fox and machine gun kelly has been against my will
me: so this is twitter, and these are all the people who follow me
dad: and they like you?
me: haha oh goodness no
Prank Idea For The Ladies:
Swallow a plastic dinosaur, then make an appointment to get an ultrasound.
I don’t normally shit with the door open but I don’t want to miss the in flight movie
The problem with always wearing that same perfectly broken-in, heavenly soft t-shirt, is how are your other t-shirts ever gonna get there.
Your honor let the records indicate my client was upsexy
Judge: what’s upsexy?
[lawyer whispers to defendant] quick, this is your chance
[texting]
me: touching my duck n thinking of you
her: gross, go to hell
me: *patting my duck’s head* don’t worry quack sparrow, she didn’t mean it
Just saw a woman in Starbucks who was 10% scarf and like 90% boot.
Fridge smart enough to tell me l left the door open but too lаzy to just close it for me. Worthless.