A slice of pie in the Bahamas is $2.00, in Jamaica it’s $2.50.
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
You Might Also Like
Never ask a girl “How are you single?”
BECAUSE THEY WILL SHOW YOU
Judge: you’ve been charged with assault
Batman: you mean battery
Judge: no it was physical assault
Batman: *whispers* batsault
Side effects may include: upset stomach, diarrhea, some wolves will chase you, like 6-12 wolves, it’s ok
[gets cut off in traffic]
my friend, you’ve made a very powerless & easily distracted enemy
[first day as hotdog vendor] I’m sorry, these are not for sale
I’ve never had a problem stepping up to the plate.
We’re talking about food, right?
Me: So how old were you when you hacked your first person?
Friend: 6th grade
Me: Wow, you were good with computers early on in life.
Friend: Computers?
My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I’m seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe.
My kid is playing doctor and so far he’s thrown a stuffed animal at my knee, poked my arm with a stick, and asked if I like to climb trees. But I get to lie down, so best game ever
My neighbor won’t understand why I hide in my car until she has kids.
Of all the galaxies that have ever existed, how do all of these idiots manage to come into mine?
-Me at work talking to guests.
I’m the kind of girl people don’t look twice at
Even when I hit them hard with a shopping trolley one, two, thr…
Yep, now he’s looking
I was kicked out of a strip club last night for throwing twenty quid at one of the strippers.
Ok, I admit it was in pound coins.
I told the 8 year old that Taylor Swift is apparently dating a football player and she goes “oh man, she’s gonna write a breakup song about how he was just playing games”
If I ever correct your spelling you should just consider it a gift. Mostly a gift for me, but a little bit for you too
Bad weather is My way of temporarily punishing you. Bad climate is your way of permanently punishing you.
Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I switched the laundry over yet.
me: how old is your baby?
her: 46 weeks
me, struggling w/the math: may i offer him a beer?
Ribbon gymnastics class only it’s me trying to detangle the cord on my headphones.
Me: babe, I don’t mean to be THAT person but you breathe way too loud & I can’t fall asleep.
*Vader grabs a blanket & moves to the couch*
13 years of marriage and my husband has never asked me to make him a salad
When does he ask for one? During a pandemic when we’ve run out of vegetables and grocery pick up is in three days
“Is there a genius in the house?! It’s an emergency!”
*I start to get up from table*
*wife discretely stops me*
*I silently agree with wife*
Doctor: what seems to be the problem?
Me: I need to be docted
Doctor: you came to the right place. I’m a doctor. I doct people
You can’t judge a book by its cover! That only works with people.
“Wow the Good Doctor is nuts.. can’t believe this is on network TV”
One Tree Hill in 2009:
If there isn’t an open bar at my funeral then count me out, I’m not going!
Introverted vegans go meetless
I’ve just realised, there really is a staircase behind our sofa.
All these years I’ve been laughing when my wife walked down it.
*gets dragged out of daycare* DON’T LISTEN TO THEM! IT’S NOT A CHOO-CHOO! IT’S A SPOON!! IT’S STRAINED CARROTS IN A SPOO
Jerry Lock
@jlock17
My grandson is just learning to talk and is going to be a train engineer for Halloween, so I’m working hard on teaching him to say “Kiss my caboose” before his mom picks him up.