@RandomRamblr
@RobDenBleyker If we weren’t able to stop Bieber Fever I seriously doubt America can stop an Ebola epidemic.
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@RobDenBleyker 
@MythicPicnic A Spartan boy was ripped from his mother at seven and subjected to daily beatings
My mother calls at 40+ to make sure that I’m still eating
@TheLastPeg She- get lost
Me- *jumps in her wardrobe*
@berniethoughts FROM THE FIRST BITE YOU CAN TELL CELERY DOESN’T WANT TO BE EATEN
@junejuly12 I hope my family appreciates the irony when I choke to death on one of these enormous daily multi-vitamins.
@SuperRandomish If you walk up to me with a plate of food and say “Matt?”
My name will always be Matt.
@kevinthedad If you need me, I’ll be right here for the next 35 years while my 4yo picks out a bedtime story to read
@welfarehoe CW: What’d you have for breakfast?
Me: A bowl of Oreos.
CW: Lol you mean Cherrios?
Me: No.
@GreenishDuck Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat.
@Rose_Matafeo crochet youtube is brutal
