“So You’ve Been Drinking and You Think You Can Dance?”
That is definitely a reality show I would watch.
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Mom made me take Millie to the prom. With her dark hair and big, brown eyes, I didn’t argue. Horseshoes can sure wreck a gymnasium floor.
Facetious. Because I like to use all vowels, in order.
“OPEN THE DOOR IT’S THE POLICE”
who is it?
“POLICE”
what is a police
*cops start whispering*
“how does he not know what a police is”
COMPANY: HIRING URGENTLY NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED APPLY NOW.
ME: *sends resume*
COMPANY: *no response*
“If you were a spy and having drinks at a spy bar, what would you want?”
“I could tell you, bud, I’d have tequila.”
me making someone eat a chip with my mind
Me: Wanna have sex?
Wife: With you or in general?
A simple turtleneck can hide all manner of candy necklaces.
Today, I shall mostly be drawing little moustaches and monocles on all the spermatozoa in the biology textbooks at the library.
I don’t remember taking this vow of celibacy.