This recipe takes only 30 minutes.
3.5hrs after preparing all the ingredients, it did indeed take 30 minutes.
You Might Also Like
Nothing says I mean business like wearing a hospital gown to the pharmacy.
Scientists: we have invented healthy food
Me: are you sure it’s healthy
Scientists: …no
Me: are you sure it’s food
Scientists: …no
Why the phone ring longer when u ignoring the call
I saw her biting her bottom lip so I threw her a cupcake. Poor girl must have been starving.
You know that wonderful feeling when you bump into an ex and they look rubbish? One of my ex’s is currently enjoying that emotion.
Cathy on FB is “feeling annoyed” and is asking why people even own cell phones if they’re not gonna answer.
Can I tell her? Pleeease.
The robot uprising is upon us. Humanity is decimated. Broken bodies rot in the streets while black smoke fills the sky. Terror and fear are all we know; hope is a forgotten dream.
On the bright side, the AI typos are hilarious.
Jingling your keys in front of a crying baby is a great way to distract them while you steal their wallet
Something our American friends may not know about us Canadians: all 38 million of us know each other
Remember two years ago when we found out aliens exist but were too busy fighting over toilet paper to care? Good times.
Traditional marriage was between a boy’s parents and a girl’s parents. And maybe some cattle.
So tired this morning that I think I tried to make a call with a Pop-Tart.
When u drop an ice cube on the floor u have only 2 options:
1. kick it under the fridge
2. pick it up & throw it at the sink missing wildly
Basically, our plans for the satanic ritual fell through, because we couldn’t agree on whose turn it was to get the goat.
A Japanese man has been arrested after reportedly dating more than 35 women at the same time in order to get birthday gifts from all of them
He gave each woman a different date for his birthday, ensuring a constant stream of gifts through the year.
You don’t see many dog librarians. Probably because of the barking.
I’m as full as a tick on a tampon
Was trying to get shots of my new hair and you can see exactly the moment I spotted the enormous daddy long-legs on the wall
Don’t ask me if I’m flirting with you I promise you I have literally no idea
If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘donuts’. I’ll turn around and look.
7: “By the year 2057 the oceans will be nothing but trash.”
Me: “Wow, I had no idea. Pretty smart, bud.”
Wife: “You know so many important facts, sweetie.”
*silence*
*3 looks at each of us*3: “Did you know there’s also pink lemonade?”
My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I’d have to stay away from carbs
So I’ve been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
me: babe theres a surprise for you under the christmas tree
my cat: *whispering* and also within
A bar and a bra , both drive men crazy when they open .
More like Kate Missington.
Monday, why can’t you be more like Tuesday and have tacos
dear parents,
just because your child is smiling at their phone doesn’t mean they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. maybe they’ve stolen the declaration of independence
Cop: Here’s a ticket for reckless driving
Me: I’m flattered thank you but I have never even heard of that band
this is uni
[spelling bee]
judge: your word is “mussel”
me: can you use it in a sentence?
judge: check out the mussels on this fisherman
me: umm